sunshine and storm beneath my wings

She afraid to close her eyes
As she has no power to control what she will dream about
She afraid to close her eyes
As uncertainty behind her eyelids might be too scary to be faced

When she try to close her eyes
The memories knocks her mind
"Would you please remember me?" asked the memories
The memories is beautiful enough to persuade the girl
"I am sorry, I can't. Maybe we can meet again someday," said the girl nervously
The girl pretending busy counting the sheep
Some of the sheep run away
So the girl try to chase the naughty sheep and feel relieve she can escape from the memories

Run into nowhere, unfortunately she got lost
Then the insecurities come and greet the girl with such a big smile
"Have a seat, you must be tired," said the insecurities
The insecurities start mumbling and mumbling
Its words start to tease the girl and make her feel bad

Insanity come in a sudden, drag her to get up
"Please, my back is sore. I'm tired," said the girl
"You can't stay here!"
Insanity give its best to persuade the girl to leave that place
"Please, my head is as heavy as stone. I need to sleep," cried the girl.

And that's how she surrender
She sleep between insecurities and insanity
While memories come closer to guide her sleep peacefully (or not)

At first I'm confused about my feelings. I can't even cry anymore. It's awful, falling to pieces make me feel numb. Surprisingly, it's not bad enough to finally know the truth. Eventho it's a really normal thing to cry and feel bad, I can't even cry. In another hand I feel relieved that finally time reveal who you are. I used to adore you, trust you and put respect on you, but how come you can be that selfish and coward. You are a kind person deep inside. But now you are not Embem, not Noi I used to know before.